Four Months Home and Back to School

Our happy preschooler

Full disclosure: transitions are not my strength.

However, I am so grateful to have had the amazing luxury of having four months home with Wendy. She has grown so much during that time, and I know she is ready for the next step--preschool. That said, the first drop-off did NOT go well, mostly because I didn't handle it well. I had envisioned myself being my usual positive personality, but instead I was an emotional mess. Rather than having a calm drop-off, ours resembled ripping off a Band-Aid (quick and dirty). My biggest fear was that she would think we were leaving her at another orphanage. How do you adequately explain that you are coming back to a child who has been abandoned at least twice? How do you let her know that we are truly her forever family? Over the summer we had visited the preschool several times and had very positive visits. In fact, when we pulled into the parking lot on Wendy's first day, she surprised me by cheering "Yay!!!" Maddie brought me back to reality by saying, "She thinks she is just going to the Discovery Room." Nothing like an 11-year-old to dash your hopes with truth-telling. But I will be forever grateful to this 11-year-old for cheering me up after we had to leave Wendy there looking hurt and ever so small. And, of course, Wendy had a good first day... and an even better second day... and by the fourth day she was smiling and waving goodbye to me through the window. At the end of each day when I pick her up, I just love how she runs to me with open arms and a huge grin, looking as if she is thinking, "Hooray! You came back again!"

Wendy is looking very serious on her first day--the same look she had during our first few days in China.

As is no surprise, preschool has already helped Wendy grow immensely. Since she started, she has overcome her fear of walking on the grass and playing in the sandbox. It is common for adopted children to have some sensory issues, and we had noticed she did not like getting her feet or hands dirty and would scream if we tried to put her down on the grass, even while wearing shoes. The first time I saw her walk calmly across the grass with my co-worker at a BBQ, I gasped and nearly ruined the whole thing. And I was delighted when I pulled off her tennis shoes after school and dumped a 1/4 cup of sand on the floor: "You had your feet in the sandbox today? What a big girl!"

First Day: Learning to ride a tricycle

A dirty toddler is a happy toddler: she is covered with paint, dirt and sloppy Joe's. I love it!

Her language skills are growing, too, with her receptive language approaching 100% comprehension. Last night, she was walking around the kitchen holding the fly swatter and I jokingly said, "Wendy, the fly landed on Daddy's leg." Much to our surprise, she swatted Bill's leg! Oops! Sorry, Bill.  Her teachers tell us she can follow multi-step verbal directions, and our Parents As Teachers instructor said she had observed her in the classroom and that she was always smiling and doing well. Probably the biggest relief of all was when she said she could detect no difference between Wendy's developmental skills and those of an average 2-year-old. Wow. That's huge. We thought she was doing well, but I had no idea she had caught up with her peers. Again, we are so grateful and moved by our resilient toddler.

When she is at home, she loves listening to music and sings along a little to the ubiquitous Robin Thicke song, "Blurred Lines" ("Hey, hey, hey!"). Uh-oh... time to put in the Sesame Street CD. She is starting to recognize famous characters, such as Mickey, Minnie and Elmo, whom she cutely calls "Elbow." She loves to Facetime with my Florida family and gets excited whenever my dad ("Boompa"), whom she calls "Papa," appears. She also loves to read books, which is pretty much a requirement in my household, so it's great she shares this passion. Just like her big sister, she also loves animals, and thanks to Daddy, White Castle burgers (yuck!).

Hanging out with "Elbow."

BFFs discussing their favorite books

Meeting a Clydesdale at Grant's Farm

I would be remiss not to mention the other big transition we experienced this fall: Maddie started middle school. She absolutely loves it--whew!  She enjoys the extra freedom of changing classes, having a locker and riding the bus. She is very adept at organizing her binder and figuring out how to use technology to make geography flash cards. She is thriving in Speech and Drama class, where she participated in a flash mob one day during lunch. When I see her getting off the bus with her violin, new braces and iPhone, it is shocking how quickly she is growing up. Wasn't it just yesterday that I dropped her off at preschool for the first time? I know I will blink and she will be off to high school and college. More transitions--ugh! But she is so happy in 6th grade, and that makes me incredibly happy, too.

Daddy and Maddie at 6th grade orientation

Maddie earned the nickname "Pineapple" from one of her teachers because first-day her outfit resembles his pineapple hat. She thinks it is cool. Gotta love my Pineapple!

The truth is, I'm probably not going to get a whole lot better at this transition thing, but I'm trying to enjoy the sweet moments we have together. We like to read one of our family classics, Time for Bed, and there is a line I just love: "It's time for bed, little calf, little calf. What happened today that made you laugh?" Even though I can't--and shouldn't--be with them every minute, I hope my girls' days are filled with learning, love and lots of laughter. Letting go is painful, but necessary. But at the end of each day, I'll be first in line to see their smiling faces and hear about their adventures.