A Very Special Mother's Day Letter

Dear Wendy’s Foster Mom:

I never got to personally thank you, but I’m thinking about you today. As it is my first Mother’s Day with Wendy, I’m feeling so blessed. As it is your first Mother’s Day without her, I can only imagine your emotions.

I want to assure you that “Le Le” is doing just fine—in fact, she is great. She is adjusting well to her new home and her forever family. I am certain she is bonding well with us solely because you were such an amazing mother to her for nearly a year. She is learning to trust us only because you met her needs so well. I know she misses you and is grieving, which while heartbreaking, is a normal, healthy process and shows how much she loves you. Monday was very difficult… she cried and cried and there wasn’t much I could do to console her. But Tuesday was better, and Wednesday and Thursday were amazing as she beamed smiles nearly all day.

In the two weeks since we have been home, she has said at least seven English words, such as “Dog” and “Boom” and “Uh-oh.” Like a lot of toddlers, she is particularly fond of the word “no.” She has gone from being a cuddly, clingy “baby” to enjoying running circles around our house, chasing the dog and yelling “Woof! Woof!” She regularly offers fist-bumps, plays Peek-A-Boo and waves “goodbye.” It is so much fun watching her become more and more animated each day. We just love her budding sense of humor, including funny facial expressions and sound effects. And when she laughs, we can’t help but chuckle, too. Thank you for teaching her about humor and joy.

She loves playing with her Noah’s Ark set, her tiny kitchen, and her stacks of books. We taught her how to use crayons, and now we are displaying her first masterpiece on our fridge proudly. She has a real sense of order, as she enjoys taking blocks out of a box and putting them back in the box. Thank you for teaching her to pick up her toys and to hand me her washcloth and rubber duckies at the end of her bath. She also notices if a cabinet door or the dishwasher is open and tries to put it back in place, even if I’m still using it. She likes wearing a bow in her hair and hands it to me if it accidentally falls out. She is finding her place in our family, too.

We are all also sleeping much better, especially now that we are on the appropriate time zone. During the first few nights, Wendy would go to sleep in her own crib alone, but then wake up and cry because she was lonely. I could only calm her by lying down on the twin bed in her room in the middle of the night. On the ninth night home, we all got a full night of sleep. I woke up feeling grateful, then panicked—worried that something was terribly wrong with her. Then, I realized she was just sleeping late and feeling peaceful in her new home. Whew! Maddie gave Wendy a special music box that attaches to her crib, and we are so happy to discover Wendy uses it to self-soothe when she wakes up. Thank you for teaching her good sleeping habits and confidence.

She has been amazed by the variety of food in America, but is already showing strong preferences to Cheerios, turkey sausage and any type of pasta. Thank you for teaching her gratitude: I love it when she claps her hands to show her excitement about a menu item. When she ate ravioli with marinara sauce last night, she dove right in and her highchair looked like a scene from “CSI: Miami.” As you are likely aware, she would probably eat 10 bananas a day if we would let her. She gets upset when the food is gone, and won’t surrrender her empty dish to refill until I show her that we have more food to place on it. As you told us in your report, she doesn’t care for milk, but she will drink some chocolate milk only if we use a straw. When she is finished, she typically throws her plate across the kitchen, so we are working on table manners. I have a whole new appreciation for our dog, who is a happy member of our clean-up crew.

Thank you for teaching her about compassion. When Maddie was feeling sad the other day, Wendy walked over to see her and pointed her finger toward her big sis to let me know there was a problem. When Maddie decided to express her feelings by writing a country song Taylor Swift-style, Wendy clapped her hands to express her delight at Maddie’s performance. Wendy has a wonderful heart, and we know that is because you treated her with love and respect and taught her to do the same.

 On this Mother’s Day, we are honoring you and all of the other foster parents who prepare children for their forever families. Thank you for providing Wendy with a stable environment, which was so crucial in her early life and has certainly made her transition easier. Thank you for being trustworthy, courageous, compassionate, creative, and joyful and for sharing your heart with our girl. While sadly, we have no pictures, no names and no keepsakes to remember you, we see your positive influence every day in our little girl’s happy face. On this Mother’s Day, while we are celebrating the joy of having Wendy home, we must also honor you and thank you for your love and sacrifice. Xie! Xie!

Love,

Katie, Wendy’s forever mommy